Welcome to the 2nd Quadrennial Buffet FIFA World Cup Blog, sponsored by Schlitz beer, the official beer of the FIFA World Cup South Africa. (Correction: After receiving a "cease and desist" letter from FIFA headquarters in Zurich, the Buffet acknowledges that Schlitz is only the official beer for the Central Phoenix Chapter's numerous viewing parties.) And so we go from the comfortable confines of Germany to the great unknown in South Africa. The struggle to complete the stadiums on time has been successful, although the transportation infrastructure will likely be a nightmare.
The people of South Africa are excited, yet controversy continues to swirl. FIFA originally only sold tickets over the internet, a system that was dreadfully impractical for those South Africans who don’t have a bank account, much less a credit card. By the time cash ticket sales began, word leaked that the official World Cup song would be sung by Shakira – a Colombian. That did not go over well with the locals either. Word has it that every time the Shakira song is played the South Africans will drown it out with the noise from their vuvuzelas, a plastic horn that the Buffet will come to hear in its sleep during the coming month.
Unfortunately, the Buffet has not sent representatives to the festivities, but it has been in contact with FIFA president Sepp Blatter, as well as CONCACAF president Jack Warner, who send their best wishes to the Buffet. The Buffet had a chance to interview them both telephonically as they travelled from Zurich to Johannesburg aboard their privately owned Boeing Dreamliner.
From the Quotesheet:
The people of South Africa are excited, yet controversy continues to swirl. FIFA originally only sold tickets over the internet, a system that was dreadfully impractical for those South Africans who don’t have a bank account, much less a credit card. By the time cash ticket sales began, word leaked that the official World Cup song would be sung by Shakira – a Colombian. That did not go over well with the locals either. Word has it that every time the Shakira song is played the South Africans will drown it out with the noise from their vuvuzelas, a plastic horn that the Buffet will come to hear in its sleep during the coming month.
Unfortunately, the Buffet has not sent representatives to the festivities, but it has been in contact with FIFA president Sepp Blatter, as well as CONCACAF president Jack Warner, who send their best wishes to the Buffet. The Buffet had a chance to interview them both telephonically as they travelled from Zurich to Johannesburg aboard their privately owned Boeing Dreamliner.
From the Quotesheet:
Sepp Blatter:
No, I was not personally involved in the Thierry Henry handball. Just because I told the referee to let France win no matter what, that doesn’t mean that I had any impact upon the result. France simply outplayed Ireland and deserved to qualify. In any event, the French are a great group of guys - not withstanding that whole juvenile prostitute thing. It could have happened to anyone.
No, I was not personally involved in the Thierry Henry handball. Just because I told the referee to let France win no matter what, that doesn’t mean that I had any impact upon the result. France simply outplayed Ireland and deserved to qualify. In any event, the French are a great group of guys - not withstanding that whole juvenile prostitute thing. It could have happened to anyone.
Jack Warner:
Yes, I certainly deserve to remain the president of CONCACAF. All of these accusations of bribery and theft of FIFA funds are truly outrageous. Just because every player on the 2006 Trinidad & Tobago squad claims that they were not paid their FIFA payment doesn’t make it true. And it’s beside the point that a lot of those players were semi-pro players with no fixed income. Sepp, could you pass the champagne and caviar?
Group A
In order of predicted finish:
1. Uruguay
2. South Africa
3. Mexico
4. France
Uruguay
Uruguay played inconsistently in South American qualification, but they arrive in South Africa with the hottest duo of attacking options in the tournament. Luis Suarez, of the Dutch club Ajax managed to score 35 goals in only 33 matches. His partner up front will be Atletico Madrid striker Diego Forlan - he of the golden mane. The firepower will push them to the top.
South Africa
Before you stop reading this blog because I'm picking South Africa to advance over France and Mexico, keep in mind that no host country has failed to advance to the second round. Not even the supremely untalented 1994 United States team. Since manager Carlos Alberto Perreira, the Brazilian, has returned for his second stint in charge of the "Bofana Bofana", the team has improved considerably. True, their FIFA ranking is pathetic (#83), but they have put together some recent solid performances, their star midfielder Steven Pienaar is back with the team, and their fans will be intimidating with the vuvuzelas.
Mexico
Mexico has a knack for getting to the second round no matter who is in their group - but not this time. Like always, Mexico will dominate ball possession, knock the ball back and forth and occasionally scrape together a goal through either the speed of Giovanni Dos Santos or Carlos Vela, but their lack of defense will be their downfall. Mexico doesn't have the size in the back to stop set pieces. Look for Mexico to control games - and lose anyway.
France
The post-Zidane era is not going to get off to a good start. They stole a spot in the World Cup finals through Thierry Henry's blatant handball. (How much would I rather be writing about Ireland right now?) Their top player, Franck Ribery, the winger from Bayern Munich, is in trouble at home for hiring an underage hooker at a Paris nightclub. And most importantly, the manager, Raymond Domenech, is going to employ a 4-3-3 formation, a la Steve Sampson. At the end of the group stage there will be calls for "Off With His Head."
Keys to the Group:
- The Opener: South Africa and Mexico begin the tournament with the whole world watching. The emotion will give the South Africans a huge lift.
- Steven Pienaar: The South African (Everton) midfielder is in good form and will be the central midfield engine for the Bofana Bofana. He's set to have a huge coming out party on the world stage.
- Luis Suarez: If he stays on fire, Uruguay will be a fun team to watch.
- Rafael Marquez and Cuahtehmoc Blanco: Who would have thought that these two would make it to yet another World Cup? Blanco is simply too old and slow to play at this level. And I think I speak for every American fan (and especially Cobi Jones) when I wish Marquez a tournament full of heartache and pain.
- 4-3-3 Formation: Enough said.
1 comment:
I hate those fucking horns. I was surrounded by them as I watched the Amsterdam Admirals come from behind (on the road!) to beat the Berlin Thunder in the waning days of NFL Europa. I should have been thinking about how cool it was to watch American Football in the same stadium where Jesse Owens won gold under Hitler's nose. Instead I kinda just wanted to leave because of a throbbing headache.
Lots of horns at US/Ghana too but I was too busy steaming from that BS call against Onyewu to really notice. (Expect a big contribution from Gooch by the way, all the rust came off during the Czech match.)
Can't wait for the tourney to start. I'll be wearing my Matumona "Goliath" Lundala jersey as much as I can even though Angola's not invited to the dance this year.
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