Group G Preview

The futbol Buffet assumes that this is a photograph of Kim Jong-Il and the North Korean World Cup futbol team, but it cannot be certain. One thing is for certain, there will not be any North Korean fans at the World Cup - not even that good looking guy in the front-middle. There will be, however, 1,000 Chinese fans who were paid to go to South Africa and root for North Korea. Stay classy Kim Jong-Il.

Oh by the way, this is the so-called Group of Death - and that has nothing to do with North Korea. So I'll try to stay focused.

Predicted Finish:

1. Brazil

2. Ivory Coast

3. Portugal

4. North Korea

Brazil:

The lovely people of Brazil don't seem to like this version of the Selecao. Apparently winning consistently and in dominating fashion is not sufficient. The team must also show the famous Brazilian flair that was noted by multiple Hotline members at the fanfest in Gelsenkirchen, Germany. Rondaldinho did not make the team. I wonder if Brian Ching would have been in the picture for that last roster spot. To quote Al Davis, "Just Win, Baby." And the futbol Buffet thinks they will not only cruise through the group stage, but win the entire tournament.

Ivory Coast:

In a close call, C'ote d'Ivoire gets the nod over Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal, even with the recent elbow injury to super-striker Didier Drogba. Although the credibility of the Ivory Coast public relations director must be questioned, word on the street is that Drogba will play. The same cannot be said for the Portuguese midfielder Nani - who is out for the entire tournament. In the battle of who is injured less, the futbol Buffet will take the Africans. They also clearly win the battle of the better jerseys.

Portugal:

Not only have they lost Nani, but their recent form has been poor, having not too long ago tied the Faroe Islands. I would compare that to a full U.S. squad tying Barbados. Pre-World Cup friendlies are hardly reliable for showing how the team will react when it counts, but this team hasn't looked impressive for a long time. If this were Mad Money, Jim Kramer would yell "sell." I'm selling. One-time World Player of the Year Cristiano Ronaldo has never found his groove with this national team, and won't in South Africa either.

North Korea:

Jong Tae-Se, otherwise known as "The People's Wayne Rooney", is their main striking option. Apparently he also plays like a bull in a china shop. In fact, he is one of their only players who has much known about him because he has spent a large portion of his life outside North Korea. He was born in South Korea, to a North Korean mother and a Japanese father. He attempted to renounce his South Korean citizenship and become North Korean. North Korea issued him a passport, but since South Korea doesn't recognize North Korea, he is technically still a South Korean citizen. He also plays his club futbol in Japan. One interesting anecdote is that when the North Koreans got together for pre-World Cup training, the other players were fascinated by Jong Tae-Se's cell phone and spent a long time passing it around a playing with it. I'd like to see them do well, but I don't think it's in the cards. There will be 1,000 greatly disappointed Chinese North Korean soccer fans.